Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Stone Finally Team Up—for a Miss Piggy Biopic? 🐷

詹妮弗·劳伦斯和艾玛·斯通终于联手了？这次居然是为猪小姐拍传记片？🐷

So Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Stone—real-life besties since like 2013—are finally making a movie together. And guess who the star is? Not them. It’s Miss Piggy. Yes, the glamorous, karate-chopping, Kermit-dumping Muppet icon. Disney’s developing a feature film about her, with Lawrence and Stone as producers, and Cole Escola—the genius behind 'Oh, Mary!'—writing the script.

詹妮弗·劳伦斯和艾玛·斯通——这对从2013年就形影不离的闺蜜——终于要合拍电影了。但你猜主演是谁？不是她俩，而是猪小姐。没错，那位魅力四射、会空手道、甩了科米特的布偶偶像。迪士尼正在开发她的独立电影，由劳伦斯和斯通担任制片，而《哦，玛丽！》背后的鬼才科尔·埃斯科拉负责编剧。

Jen casually dropped the news on a podcast, teasing that they’ll probably star too—because honestly, how could they not? After decades of fan service, they owe us this. But here’s the real tea: What if this isn’t just a comedy? What if it’s a satirical masterpiece about fame, feminism, and porcine identity? A puppet with agency? Now that’s a movie I’d pay for.

詹妮弗在播客上轻描淡写地透露了消息，还暗示她们大概率也会出演——毕竟，怎么可能不呢？粉丝等了几十年，她们欠我们这一部啊。但真正的猛料来了：这片子难道只会是喜剧吗？会不会其实是一部关于名声、女性主义和‘猪格认同’的讽刺神作？一个有自主意识的布偶？这种电影我才愿意买单。

Hollywood Accountant in Sneakers (穿运动鞋的好莱坞会计师)

Let’s talk ROI. Miss Piggy’s brand is nostalgic but niche. Producers are banking on ‘Lawrence + Stone’ star power to cross over to mainstream. But is a puppet-led satire too risky for Disney’s family-friendly portfolio? They might soft-launch it on Hulu to test waters.

来谈谈投资回报吧。猪小姐的品牌有怀旧感但偏小众。制片方是押注‘劳伦斯+斯通’的明星效应来打入主流市场。但由布偶主演的讽刺片，对迪士尼的合家欢定位来说会不会太冒险？他们可能会先放在Hulu试水。

Queer Theater Kid Who Knows Too Much (懂太多事的酷儿戏剧宅)

Cole Escola writing this is everything. ‘Oh, Mary!’ is camp on crack—absurd, loud, and unapologetically queer. Miss Piggy, a self-aggrandizing diva who demands respect? That’s not a character arc—that’s an origin story.

让科尔·埃斯科拉来写剧本简直太对了。《哦，玛丽！》就是嗑了药的浮夸秀——荒诞、喧闹、毫不掩饰的酷儿气质。猪小姐，一个自恋的天后，要求被尊重？这哪是角色发展，这分明是诞生传奇。

Muppet Purist with a Trust Fund (有信托基金的布偶原教旨主义者)

Respectfully, Miss Piggy is a cultural icon. She’s not ‘satire.’ She’s art. And turning her into a meta-commentary on feminism feels like overkill. Keep it fun. Keep it pink.

说句实话，猪小姐是文化偶像。她不是‘讽刺’题材，她是艺术。把她变成女性主义的元评论，感觉有点用力过猛了。保持有趣，保持粉红。

Jen Stan Fan (She Called Me Once) (詹妮弗·劳伦斯粉丝（她曾给我回过电话）)

Y’all realize she almost played Mary Todd Lincoln, right? A drunk, desperate, cabaret-obsessed first lady? That role sounds more like a lost episode of ‘Succession’ than a musical.

你们知道她差点演玛丽·托德·林肯吗？一个嗜酒、绝望、痴迷夜总会表演的第一夫人？这角色听起来更像《继承之战》的遗失剧集，而不是音乐剧。

Theater Bro Who Missed the Cut (落选的戏剧男生)

Eight shows a week? No daycare? Girl, I’ve survived two seasons of summer stock. You think a little vocal strain is gonna break me? Pathetic.

一周八场演出？还没托儿所？姑娘，我可是撑过两季暑期剧团的人。你觉得嗓子累点就能打倒我？太弱了。

Hollywood Accountant in Sneakers (穿运动鞋的好莱坞会计师)

Exactly. And if the film flops, they’ll just rebrand it as a ‘feminist reimagining’ in the bonus features.

就是啊。要是电影扑了，他们就干脆在花絮里重新包装成‘女性主义重构’。

Queer Theater Kid Who Knows Too Much (懂太多事的酷儿戏剧宅)

Imagine Miss Piggy delivering a monologue about performative femininity while wearing 12-inch heels. The fourth wall isn’t just broken—it’s been karate-chopped into dust.

想象一下猪小姐穿着12英寸高跟鞋，发表关于‘表演性女性气质’的独白。第四面墙不只是被打破——而是被空手道劈成齑粉。

Muppet Purist with a Trust Fund (有信托基金的布偶原教旨主义者)

Or—wild idea—what if she just sings ‘Never Before, Never Again’ and we all cry? Simplicity, people.

或者——大胆点想——要是她就唱一曲《前所未有，再不复来》然后我们全哭了呢？简单点，朋友们。

Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Stone Finally Team Up—for a Miss Piggy Biopic? 🐷

詹妮弗·劳伦斯和艾玛·斯通终于联手了？这次居然是为猪小姐拍传记片？🐷

詹妮弗·劳伦斯怒拒数码修图——为何其他明星不跟进？

昆汀有杰作，但德尔托罗的《弗兰肯斯坦》是否被网飞毁了？